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Domestic Violence Safety Plan

Your safety is the most important thing. Listed below are tips to help keep you safe.

If you are in an abusive relationship, think about...

Having important phone numbers nearby for you and your children. Numbers to have are the police, hotlines, friends and the local shelter.
Friends or neighbors you could tell about the abuse. Ask them to call the police if they hear angry or violent noises. If you have children, teach them how to dial 911. Make up a code word that you can use when you need help.
How to get out of your home safely. Practice ways to get out.
Safer places in your home where there are exits and no weapons. If you feel abuse is going to happen try to get your abuser to one of these safer places.
Any weapons in the house. Think about ways that you could get them out of the house.
Even if you do not plan to leave, think of where you could go. Think of how you might leave. Try doing things that get you out of the house - taking out the trash, walking the pet or going to the store. Put together a bag of things you use everyday (see the checklist below). Hide it where it is easy for you to get.
Going over your safety plan often.

If you consider leaving your abuser, think about...

Four places you could go if you leave your home.
People who might help you if you left. Think about people who will keep a bag for you. Think about people who might lend you money. Make plans for your pets.
Keeping change for phone calls or getting a cell phone.
Opening a bank account or getting a credit card in your name.
How you might leave. Try doing things that get you out of the house - taking out the trash, walking the family pet, or going to the store. Practice how you would leave.
How you could take your children with you safely. There are times when taking your children with you may put all of your lives in danger. You need to protect yourself to be able to protect your children.
Putting together a bag of things you use everyday. Hide it where it is easy for you to get.

Remember To Take With You, If Possible

Children (if it is safe)

Money

Jewelry

Keys to car, house, work

Extra clothes

Medicine

Important papers for you and your children

Birth certificates

Social security cards

Degree Certificates

School and medical records

Bankbooks, credit cards

Driver's license

Car registration

Welfare identification

Passports, green cards, work permits and all other immigration documents

Lease/rental agreement

Mortgage payment book, unpaid bills

Insurance papers

PPO, divorce papers, custody orders

Address book

Pictures, things that mean a lot to you

Items for your children (toys, blankets, etc.)

Think about reviewing your safety plan often.

WARNING: Abusers try to control their victim's lives. When abusers feel a loss of control - like when victims try to leave them - the abuse often gets worse. Take special care when you leave. Keep being careful even after you have left.

This section on personalized safety planning adapted from the
Metro Nashville Police Department's personalized safety plan.

Safety Tips For Surfing the Internet

(from: http://www.taasa.org/clear_history.php)

Clear Your Computer History Files.

Survivors of domestic violence are often concerned about maintaining their privacy and safety. While email and the Internet are useful for communication and learning about domestic violence, they can also lead to violation of your privacy. The following section explains how someone can discover your Internet activities.

(a) e-mail: if someone has access to your e-mail account, he or she may be able to read your incoming or outgoing mail. If you believe your account is secure, make sure you choose a password he or she will not be able to guess. You can have your password changed!

(b) history / cache file: if someone knows how to read your computer's history or cache file (automatically saved web pages and graphics), he or she may be able to see information you have viewed recently on the Internet.

You can clear your history or empty your cache file in your browser's settings.

Internet Explorer 5.5 and 6.x

Select Internet Options from the Tools pull-down menu.
Click the General tab.

On the middle of this page is the Temporary Internet Files section.
Click the Delete Files button.
You will then be prompted by the dialog box, Delete files.
In this dialog box, you are asked if you wish to Delete all files in the Temporary Internet Files folder.
Click the OK button.
On the bottom of this page is the History section.
Click the Clear History button.
You will then be prompted by the dialog box, Internet Properties.
In this dialog box, you are asked if you wish to Delete all files in your History folder.
Click the OK button.
Click the OK button on the General tab screen.

Firefox 1.5.x

From the main menu, select Tools, then select Options.
In the Options menu, select Privacy, then select Cache.
Click Clear Cache Now.

Netscape 7.1

From the main menu select Edit, then select Preferences.
On the Preference dialog box, open Advanced.
Under the Advanced option select Cache.

Click the Clear Memory Cache button.
Click the Clear Disk Cache button.
Click the OK button to continue.
The value for Compare the page in the cache to the page on network: should be set to "Every time I view the page".

Click the OK button.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What is Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence is a pattern of behavior which keeps one partner in a position of power over the other partner through the use of fear, manipulation, intimidation, blame, and control.

For further information about domestic violence within Asian American communities, please visit http://www.apiahf.org/apidvinstitute/default.htm.

What are the types of domestic abuse?

The types of domestic abuse are:

Physical abuse (domestic violence)
Verbal or nonverbal abuse (psychological, mental, or emotional abuse)
Sexual abuse
Stalking or cyberstalking
Economic abuse or financial abuse
Spiritual abuse

The divisions between these types of domestic abuse are somewhat fluid, but there is a strong differentiation between the various forms of physical abuse and the various types of verbal and nonverbal abuse.

How do I know if I am in an abusive relationship?

There are many signs of an abusive relationship. The primary sign is fear of your partner. Other signs include a partner who belittles you or tries to control you, and feelings of self-loathing, numbness, helplessness, and desperation.

What are the causes of domestic abuse or domestic violence?

An individual who was abused as a child or exposed to domestic violence in the household while growing up is at an increased risk of becoming either an abuser or the abused in his or her adult relationships. In this way, domestic violence and abuse is transmitted from one generation to the next. This cycle of domestic violence is difficult to break because parents have presented abuse as the norm.

Other factors that can lead to domestic abuse include:

What are the effects of domestic violence or abuse?

The undesirable effects of domestic violence or abuse can be very long-lasting. People who have been abused by a spouse or intimate partner often suffer from:

In addition to these problems, physical abuse may result in serious injury or death if the victim does not leave the relationship.

What is the effect of domestic violence on children?

Children who observe domestic violence may develop serious emotional, behavioral, developmental, or academic problems. As children, they may become violent themselves, or withdraw. Some act out at home or school; others try to be the perfect child. Children from violent homes may become depressed and have low self-esteem. As they develop, children and teens who grow up with domestic violence in the household are more likely to:

Exhibit violent and aggressive behavior.
Attempt suicide.
Use and abuse drugs.
Commit crimes, especially sexual assault.
Become abusers in their own relationships later in life.

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