Volatility: A Marker of Unhealthy Love
Unhealthy relationships are often like rollercoasters, up one minute and down the next. Frequent break-ups and make ups, tearful frustrated fights followed by emotional make ups, shouting hurtful comments like ‘You’re worthless, I don’t even know why I’m with you’, followed by apologies and promises that this will never happen again ‘You are the sunshine of my life, I don’t know what I would do without you’ are common signs of unhealthy love and abuse. Bollywood culture often shows us such images of relationships where the unhealthy patterns are mistaken for passion and drama that the couple must overcome in order to live happily ever after. What these movies don’t show us is that these unhealthy patterns are cyclic and the ‘happy ever after’ when the movie ends is just the honeymoon phase of that cycle, tension will build again and will lead to another explosion.
Unhealthy love in its extreme forms is abuse. Not every unhealthy behavior pattern means that there is abuse in a relationship, it is important to look at the signs in their totality, to see the patterns in the relationship and trust your gut. Recognizing these early signs of unhealthy love can help us work on them to make them better through open communication, mutual respect and kindness. Understanding is the first step to improving, but not every relationship can be made better, some of them you may have to leave behind.
If you feel like your relationship is heading towards abuse or you are in an abusive relationship, seek help. You are not alone. You can call our confidential hotline on 713- 981- 7645 or look for resources on our website.
Although love is an emotion and an instinct, the ability to love in a healthy way is a skill that we can all build on and improve over time, and it is high time we all did that.